So I watched ten minutes of this. At one point he stopped midway through a song to say “I love you guys” or something similar. I almost left then. I had imbibed about as many saccharine pleasantries as I could take and things were reaching a bad frequency, this kid was the king of sugar mountain.
Towards the end of a song, which had some line about seeing three words on a wall (a line I had enjoyed somewhat) Peter Broderick chose to tell us all about the song, ruining the only moment I enjoyed and prompting me to say “Jesus Fucking Christ” at a semi stifled volume, the kind employed by mad ranting people on public transport. Shucks.
He told us that while in the toilets of a club in New York he read these three words on a cubicle door, written in bold permanent marker:
YOU’RE PROBABLY STUPID
He then did that meek and lovely “I realised that it was probably true” thing, before confessing that although he had never written on a toilet door before (he got rather embarrassed hinting at what is usually found written on toilet doors) he felt like he had to make his mark this time. So he wrote this underneath those three words (subverting the original message by making himself a clear cut case for the DEFINITELY camp)
BUT YOU’RE STILL BEAUTIFUL
If I am ever in New York, in a club which I can imagine Peter Broderick frequenting, I’m going to look in all the cubicles, just in case. And if I find this ode to idiocy I’m going to have my way with it, adding DOWNSTAIRS as a fitting finale, or something along those lines. I’ve got a lot of time to think it over.
Thank god I didn’t go to see Andrew Bird eh? Imagine the lynch mob, Silk Tie Strangulations and Ukulele Enemas…