Anyone could tell you that Rage Against the Machine might be worth watching this weekend. The alternative preview crawls through the dredges of the smaller stages, so you don't have to. Believe us, it was painful on occasion.
So if you don't fancy watching the one remaining member of Taking Back Sunday murdering "Cute Without the 'E'" or the idea of Dropkick Murphy's traditional Irish punk brings shivers to your soul, we may have the alternative for you.
We would continue to insult every band on the main stage, but some of them actually don't deserve it. On the other hand, Late of the Pier are the musical equivalent of Daddy Day Camp, they're not even on the main stage, but still, it bears repeating now.
| Band | Time | Rating | MySpace | Comment |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| FESTIVAL REPUBLIC STAGE | ||||
| Reading Fri / Leeds Sat | ||||
| Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip | 22:30:00 | |
www.myspace.com/lesacvspip | Thought-inspiring electronic hip-hop. And we don't mean... ooh, i think that man has some nice hoes. |
| Does It Offend You, Yeah? | 21:35:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/doesitoffendyou | http://strangeglue.co.uk/live/nass-08-does-it-offend-you-yeah-live/2201 |
| Late of the Pier | 20:30:00 | |
www.myspace.com/lateofthepier | LotP should bring their balloons and other assorted gimmicks but they'll still play their dance music that unfortunately doesn't get people to move. Shame really. |
| The Teenagers | 19:25:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/theteenagers | With songs like 'Starlett Johansson' and 'Homecoming' you'd think these Parisians had the world at their feet. However much of their other stuff is not to be taken seriously. |
| Friendly Fires | 18:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/friendlyfires | Achieve everything which Late of the Pier singularly fail to accomplish, and with better hair too. Because everyone's worth it. |
| Ida Maria | 17:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/idamaria | Searing raw-throated rock 'n roll from Europe's answer to Courtney Love, only with a personality, and better looking, and a better singer, and a better songwriter. |
| Esser | 16:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/esserhq | When drummer's get ideas! Former Ladyfuzz sticksman concocts devilishly catchy electro-pop. More combustable than Spinal Tap. |
| Florence and The Machine | 15:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/florenceandthemachinemusic | Bubbly indie-rock with a wry sense of humour all-too-often absent. Just don't ask the lady for a kiss. |
| Fighting With Wire | 15:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/fightingwithwire | Not fans of the Manic Street Preachers? Oh well, we guess everyone needs a nemesis. You'll get that later.... maybe. |
| These New Puritans | 14:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thesenewpuritans | Stompy art-rock, you're sure to be seduced by them if they're on form. |
| Jubilee | 13:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/jubileeband | Why won't self-aggrandising tuneless rock just die? This thing is harder to kill than Miley Cyrus' career. |
| Red Light Company | 12:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/redlightcompany | We doubt that there's a word which comes out of these guys mouth which isn't a finely refined pop chorus masterpiece. |
| Fran Rogers | 12:05:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/francesrodgers | Winner of the Futuresound competition to play the Festival Republic stage. Female singer-songwriter with a powerhouse of a voice and finger-picking to go with it. |
| Reading Sat / Leeds Sun | ||||
| Elliot Minor | 22:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/elliotminor | Not enough generic U.S pop-punk for you? Then get some made in Britain. |
| The Audition | 21:35:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/theaudition | What do you expect from a Victory Records band? Okay, now if we remove the swear words then you're left with “Bunch of spewing generic weep wishing you were snakes this plane.” |
| All Time Low | 20:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/alltimelow | Why does everyone ironically covering “Umbrella” always do the 'ella' bit staccato? It sounds ridiculous. |
| You Me At Six | 19:20:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/youmeatsix | A slight improvement on Elliot Minor, but essentially the same gripes. |
| Black Kids | 18:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/blackkidsrock | An interesting prospect, Black Kids burst on the scene with one of the most exciting EPs last year before making friends with Bernard Butler who produced their anodyne debut album. Worth watching if they don't clash with Foals. |
| Louis XIV | 17:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/louisxiv | Given the choice between decapitation, gangrene and a Louis XIV song, we're hesitating more than we should. |
| Los Campesinos! | 16:35:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/loscampesinos | The always entertaining Welsh ensemble who are prone to chaotic rock and roll with extremely long titles. Worth a watch! |
| White Lies | 15:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/whitelies | Music to our ears, even if they do sound like they should be in the futuristic scene during Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. |
| Twisted Wheel | 15:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thetwistedwheel | Leaves you contemplating the mystery of just how many words there are which are synonyms of crap. |
| Fight Like Apes | 14:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/fightlikeapesmusic | ...Sting like a tree. Dance like an inebriate, sing like a freak. Good times, good times. |
| Black Acid | 13:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/officialblackacid | If the only thing on your to-do list is 'commit suicide', it may be worth delaying it an hour or so. Just in case you need reassurance. |
| Lovvers | 12:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/letscommunicate | A MySpace page without any music on it? Does not compute, does not compute. Luckily, we have CDs, so observe the grade. |
| Collapsing Cities | 12:10:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/collapsingcities | Tuneful indie-pop more likely to cause a slight tremor in the ocean than achieve their monikered goal. |
| Reading Sun / Leeds Fri | ||||
| The Kills | 22:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thekills | These two should be your highlight of the weekend. You might even spot Kate Moss onstage too. Does it get any better?! [ed: yes!] |
| Wiley | 21:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/eskiboywiley | What is the fascination of talking during the introduction of every single rap song. Are you that worried that the people who've bought your album won't know who it's by? |
| Glasvegas | 20:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/glasvegas | The heart of Glasgow with the sparkle of Las Vegas. Boy are we glad it wasn't the other way around. Reserve your place early. We are. |
| Sergeant | 19:20:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/sergeantmusic | When NME call you 'pop' and even worse 'exciting' you'd better just close your eyes and pray to the flying spaghetti monster for a quick death. |
| Cage The Elephant | 18:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/cagetheelephant | Have you been injured in an accident that wasn't your fault within the last 3 years? Then chances are you've already had more fun than this show is going to be. |
| The Rascals | 17:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/rascalmusic | Must be strange having your side project (The Last Shadow Puppets) more famous than your day job. It's probably because it's better than. |
| Emmy The Great | 16:35:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/emmythegreat | We do like it so when the artists describe themselves. Job done. |
| Johnny Foreigner | 15:50:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/johnnyforeigner | Daily Mail be damned. Open the gates of fortress Europe and welcome Johnny Foreigner with open arms. |
| Black Tide | 15:05:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/blacktide | When you're supporting Bullet For My Valentine you have to wonder where exactly your life went so badly wrong. |
| In Case Of Fire | 14:20:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/incaseoffire | In case of fire we'd suggest dancing around wildly, rolling on the ground and throwing water over oneself. Probably very similar to their gigs actually. |
| Wild Beasts | 13:35:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/wildbeasts | Domino record's signed up this band last year and the surprisingly good debut album Limbo, Panto was released in June. |
| Natty | 12:50:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/natty4d | Diversely influenced alternative pop which pulls from every genre known to man. With the possible exception of Whistle-Core. |
| XX Teens | 12:05:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/xxteens | Oddball and divisive, this is art-rock at its most bizarre. Buried deep within the chaos though, are the charred, but functional remains of a pop heart. |
| THE DANCE ARENA | ||||
| Reading Sun / Leeds Fri | ||||
| CSS | 22:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/canseidesersexy | CSS are back with new material, one less member, but plenty of energy. If you can get in to the tent, you'll have the night of your life. Or you can go watch Metallica. |
| Digitalism | 21:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/digitalism | Have a long think about what you think this band may specialise in. Yes, and now it's 100% Calvin Harris free, fantastic. |
| Simian Mobile Disco | 20:05:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/simianmobiledisco | So you add two words to your name, strip out the bizarre vocals and focus more on thumping dance beats. We don't care, we're still gonna yell for “LA Breeze”. |
| Chromeo | 19:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/chromeo | Canada, huh, what is it good for. Jokes aboot accent differences and propulsive dance music apparently. |
| Crystal Castles | 18:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/crystalcastles | Short and snappy, Crystal Castles will blow you away. Just make sure you get there on time - otherwise you might just miss the fun. |
| Lethal Bizzle | 16:50:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/lethalbizzlemusic | Garage Rap star who hangs around with the likes of Gallows, Kate Moss, Pete Doherty and yourcodenameis:milo. Had the guts to play Download Festival too, now that's hardcore. |
| Holy Fuck | 15:50:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/holyfuck | Taking their name from a particularly blue episode of Adam West's Batman TV series, the Canadian ensemble perfectly fuse together rock and electronica. |
| The Whip | 14:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thewhipmanchester | Great live band, get ready to bounce around to singles like 'Trash', while you immerse yourself in their new wave hits. |
| Robots in Disguise | 13:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/robotsindisguise | Possibly the coolest girls to ever breathe in London, assuming they hated the Michael Bay travesty as much as the rest of us. Bring on the spiky dance music. |
| The Death Set | 12:50:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thedeathset | See above. See Wales, see the world. It really is kinda pretty, although can we take back the Wales thing. |
| The Shoes | 12:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/theshoesmusik | Come to think of it, have you ever seen 'The Shoes' and 'Hadouken' in the same room? Oh, you have? This must just be a mega rip-off then. |
| RADIO 1 LOCK-UP STAGE | ||||
| Reading Fri / Leeds Sat | ||||
| Less Than Jake | 22:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/lessthanjake | Like Ska music? No? Not even a little? Okay, let's just say hypothetically for a minute that you did; if you did, you'd probably be quite fond of this band. |
| Pennywise | 21:20:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/pennywise | Despite having been active longer than Miley Cyrus has been alive, they're still proudly declaring why Disney are evil, among many other things. Oh, they're punk. |
| Anti-Flag | 20:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/antiflag | Celebrating 20 years together in 2008, the band, not to be confused with 'Black Flag' or 'Santigold' bring even more punk experience to the already bursting Lock-Up stage. |
| Goldfinger | 19:10:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/goldfinger | Want to hear complex issues tackled with all the intelligence of a disorientated squirrel on speed? Then look no further. |
| Tiger Army | 18:05:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/tigerarmy | Even more misleadingly upbeat pop-punk from the West Coast. Four albums down and the only way is up, and across slightly. |
| The Unseen | 17:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/theunseen | We're beginning to suspect that every single punk band with more than ten years behind them is playing here. Thankfully this doesn't include Against Me! |
| H2O | 16:05:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/h2ofamily | The above assertion is still not being debunked. Punk music with extra chanty goodness. |
| Frank Turner | 15:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/frankturner | Former Million Dead scribe who's now turned his hand to poignant, breathtaking folk music. |
| The Briggs | 14:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thebriggs | Fronted by the brothers LaRocca. L.A. quartet with four albums of punky excellence under their collective belts. |
| The Loved Ones | 13:35:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thelovedones | Touring partners of Flogging Molly. The Loved Ones look set to bring an Americana vibe to the stage. Still no females though. |
| Blackhole | 12:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/blackhole | No! Just No! |
| Hexes | 12:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/hexes | Ask yourself, how hardcore-punk can a band be when they have members from 'A' who've written songs for McFly and played with Busted's Matt Willis? |
| Reading Sat / Leeds Sun | ||||
| Gallows | 22:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/gallows | The most British punk-hardcore imaginable. We half expect a breakdown featuring the words “That was great, anyone for a cuppa what what”. |
| Alkaline Trio | 21:20:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/alkalinetrio | Although yet to release their definitive album, they've got enough incendiary songs to burn this place down. Note-to-self: wear non-flammable clothing. |
| Thrice | 20:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thrice | Inventive yet oddly underwhelming post-hardcore. May earn themselves an extra mark for drawing from their air and earth elemental albums. |
| Flogging Molly | 19:10:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/floggingmolly | Acoustic guitar, fiddle, tin whistle, electric guitar, accordion, bass, mandolin, banjo and drums. How do they still sound punky? |
| MXPX | 18:10:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/mxpx | The kind of band you'd take home to see mother. They're also signed to Tooth and Nail Records. We're thinking the C-word here.... no, not that one. |
| Cancer Bats | 17:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/cancerbats | One of the most visceral and impressively impactful hardcore-punk bands on the scene today. |
| King Blues | 15:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thekingblues | London's answer to '500 Miles to Memphis'. Why does punk always combine so deliciously with folk/country/traditional music? |
| Fucked Up | 14:25:00 | |
http://www.last.fm/music/Fucked Up/ | Canada get themselves in on the action with the aid of Pink Eyes, Concentration Camp, Mustard Gas and Chris Colohan. What, did they run out of 'cool' names by the drummer's turn? |
| The Gaslight Anthem | 13:35:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thegaslightanthem | With their star-power on the rise with breathtaking velocity, you'll want to catch this powerhouse melodic retro-tinged punk now, and again next year when they're on the main stage, |
| Hifi Handgrenades | 12:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/hifihandgrenades | Four-piece punk band formed from the ashes of 'The Fags'. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.... hey, who let out that tumbleweed? |
| Random Hand | 12:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/randomhand | When Radio 1's Mike Davies quoted “killer” for them, we suspect the contextual sentence was: “Things you'd rather open a door to that 'Random Hand'...” |
| BBC INTRODUCING STAGE | ||||
| Reading Sun / Leeds Fri | ||||
| Loqui | 19:45/20:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/loqui | May need some work on their ill-suited vocals in places, but the shape of a decent band to come. |
| The Bacchae | 19:00/19:15 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thebacchaemusic | Can you, a mortal, measure your strength against a god? Greek tragedy comes to garage rock. |
| These Monsters | 18:15/18:30 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thesemonsters | As you'd expect from a band who cite 'Godspeed You!', 'Silver Mount Zion' and 'Explosions' as influences, this may be a slow starter, but it does have its timely charm. |
| Underground Railroad | 17:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/urailroad | Post-punk and new-wave, condensed into one convenient package. They're not signed to the home of Bj%uFFFDrk for nothing you know. |
| FF'ers | 16:45/17:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/weareffers | Chaotic male/male/female trio who sound like Johnny Foreigner after having been locked in a cellar for seventy years. |
| Solus Locus | 16:00/16:15 | |
http://www.myspace.com/soluslocus | Claim to put the arty into party. Although we'd say they put the awesome post-rock splendour into awesome post-rock splendour-y. Snappy eh! |
| That Fucking Tank | 15:15/15:30 | |
http://www.myspace.com/landsandbody | Splendidly monikered local (Leeds) band who give us instrumental warzones without the need for a body count... that goes beyond triple digits. |
| Out From Animals | 14:30/14:45 | |
http://www.myspace.com/outfromanimals | Towering electronics, spiky vocals and lush backing harmonies. They're looking for a 4th (female) member, we'd advise placing your foot in the door sharpish. |
| The Humour | 13:45:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thehumour | Having trouble finding the black-clad befringed band of men for you? Have you considered option #675,912. Awarded Time-Out's “meh” of the year. |
| Dinosaur Pile-Up | 13:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/dinosaurpileup | These dinosaurs may be lacking something in the way of bite, but their not the kind of species to go extinct overnight. Stoopid Dodos. |
| Eureka Machines | 12:20:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/eurekamachines | Exactly the kind of band you'd expect to be playing this stage. No, we're not entirely sure that is a compliment either. Better set your phasers to 'snooze'. |
| Reading Fri / Leeds Sat | ||||
| Ipso Facto | 20:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/ipsofactomyspace | Brooding rock 'n' roll with enough atmosphere to provide a sustainable living environment for at least 5 hours. |
| The Cherry Cobb Cartel | 19:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thecherrycobbcartel | Halfway between the Last Shadow Puppets and Babyshambles. Oddly enough, also halfway between dire and boring. |
| Flashguns | 18:45/18:30 | |
http://www.myspace.com/flashguns | More London new-wave as inspired by everybody else trying exactly the same thing. Competent, yet unremarkable. |
| Tiger Shadow | 18:00/17:45 | |
http://www.myspace.com/jazzbongo | Arresting hip-hop mashups combined with soul vocals for a rather impressive result. |
| Thomas Tantrum | 17:15/17:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thomastantrum | Worth seeing live if only for the fact that you could physically strangle the lead singer for the crime of being so ridiculously annoying. |
| The Maybes? | 16:30/16:15 | |
http://www.myspace.com/themaybesliverpool | Clearly missed Sum 41's video which put the nail in the coffin of 'The' bands. Conversely, they are in no way influenced by Sum 41. Danceable indie-rock. |
| Pulled Apart By Horses | 15:30/15:15 | |
http://www.myspace.com/pulledapartbyhorses | Pulled apart by horses? Sounds painful! Sign us up and call us spanky. |
| Darlings Of The Splitscreen | 15:00/14:45 | |
http://www.myspace.com/darlingsofthesplitscreen | Thumping electro-rock. Somewhere between Metronomy and Does It Offend You, Yeah? |
| Our Fold | 14:15/14:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/ourfold | There's little more you could ask for from mainstream indie-rock, with the possible exception of asking it to be a little less mainstream. |
| Situationists | 13:30/13:15 | |
http://www.myspace.com/situationists | Sheffield band who sound ridiculously like the Futureheads. Right down to the ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba harmonies. Still worth getting out of bed for though, |
| Tripwires | 12:45/12:30 | |
http://www.myspace.com/tripwires | Reading band who quite frankly should eclipse everyone on this stage if they can perform live anything like they do on record. A must see! |
| Reading Sat / Leeds Sun | ||||
| Skeletons | unknown | |
http://www.myspace.com/salvationandtheskeletons | Another band with the !Forward Russia!-style falsetto, this Sheffield band use it well. Formed from the ashes of punk band thisGIRL. |
| Hungry Ghosts | 20:00/19:30 | |
http://www.myspace.com/hungryghostsuk | It could be the year of the Ghost if this unsigned outfit have their way. They have a 70's sound that will leave you 'breathless', which coincidently is their best track. |
| Fox Cubs | 19:15/20:45 | |
http://www.myspace.com/foxcubs | Expect to see some A&R guys in the tent for this one. Fox Cubs are unsigned, are great and sound similar to main stagers - Editors and !Forward Russia! A must see! |
| Razmataz Lorry Excitement | 13:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/razmatazlorryexcitement | The biggest waste of 33 minutes' will not be watching this indie-electro outfit, however, you will get to hear a classic track with the same name. |
| Fangs | unknown | |
http://www.myspace.com/fangsfangsfangs | Electro lo-fi glam pop from these Scots, with a frontwoman called “The Queen”. |
| Attack Attack! | 17:00/16:30 | |
http://www.myspace.com/attackattackband | Last time we saw this Welsh outfit they donned gorilla masks and still managed to play their instruments. On the verge of hitting big time. |
| General Fiasco | unknown | |
http://www.myspace.com/generalfiasco | “Let's get wasted / It's all we ever do”. A band with the soundtrack to the festival. Will be exciting and frenetic. |
| The Last People On Earth | 15:30/15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thelastpeopleonearth | Psychedelic pop in the mould of The Flaming Lips & SFA from a band that have been around for some time now. |
| The Joy Formidable | 14:00:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thejoyformidable | Interesting three-piece who sound a bit like the Yeah Yeah Yeah's. |
| The New York Fund | 18:30:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/thenewyorkfund | Formed from the ashes of Cherryfalls, these are Radio 2's favourite band, but don't let that put you off, these guys have some half-decent tunes. |
| Kid iD | unknown | |
http://www.myspace.com/kidid | Folk and Funk, this Leeds band have everything up their sleeves. And it's rather spiriting too. |
| I Concur | 12:15:00 | |
http://www.myspace.com/iconcurband | Another impressive post-rock offering coming out from Leeds, I Concur sound like Interpol without the heavy vocals. |
| DANCE TO THE RADIO | ||||
| Grammatics | TBA | |
http://www.myspace.com/grammatics | A band who struggle to work out which direction they're heading, which in this case is certainly not a bad thing. |
| The Wallbirds | TBA | |
http://www.myspace.com/thewallbirds | Doncaster outfit who certainly entertain live. Tracks like 'The Avenue' will have you bopping around with ease. |
| Broken Records | TBA | |
http://www.myspace.com/brokenrecordsedinburgh | Scottish seven-piece who sound like a cross between A Hawk And A Hacksaw and Twilight Sad. Engrossing stuff, and a must see! |
| Wintermute | TBA | |
http://www.myspace.com/wintermuteband | Leeds band, they call themselves math-pop, so imagine a slightly more dancey Foals. |
* Stage times correct at time of publication, although may be subject to change.