Standon Calling Somehow Still Has Tickets

The fact that tiny festival Standon Calling hasn't sold out yet must be testament that good taste is rare and elusive.  At this point, it's not even about good taste--with the line-up so wide-ranging and the rest of the festival package so action-packed, it's actually just about good sense. 

Riddle us this: Which of the following statements make Standon Calling something to let pass by?

1. It costs £95, compared to other festivals asking upwards of £165.

2. No corporate sponsorship allowed onsite at all.

3. It's got a crime theme: "Murder on the Standon Express."

4. ¡¡¡ORQUESTRA BUENA VISTA SOCIAL CLUUUUUUUUUB!!!

5. Dance tents open 'til 6am, so you can catch the commuter train back to your flat instead of camping.

6. Profits support a charity called Phoenix Futures, leading UK provider of aid to abusers of drugs and alcohol.  (So really, the money's all going back to us anyway... jokes!)

Correct answers:

Answer 1: None.  Absolutely none of them.  I actually bought my ticket before I even read down to item 5.

Answer 2: All.  All of them combined.  This must be a hoax, right?  There's just no way this can all be true.  No way.

Answer 3: All.  All of them combined.  It is too awesome.  Can't deal.  Also, really can't stand Metronomy for whatever reason.

Right, reckon we'll see you there, then.  If this doesn't all turn out to be a cruel joke, that is.

Details:

Dates: Friday 6th to Sunday 8th August, 2010

Weekend Ticket: £95

Teen ticket: £75

Under-12s: Free

Sunday Day Ticket: £40

Theme: Murder on the Standon Express

Capacity: 5,000

Website: www.standon-calling.com

Location: Standon, Hertfordshire

Standon Calling 2010 Final Line-up:

ORQUESTA BUENA VISTA SOCIAL CLUB ® FEATURING OMARA PORTUONDO | LIARS

ETIENNE DE CRECY PRESENTS BEATS 'N' CUBES (UK EXCLUSIVE!) | EFTERKLANG

THE MAGIC NUMBERS | METRONOMY | BRITISH SEA POWER

JEFFREY LEWIS | GILLES PETERSON | ALICE RUSSELL | THESE NEW PURITANS

A HAWK AND A HACKSAW | FUCKED UP | FILTHY DUKES

| PANTHA DU PRINCE | EDDY TEMPLE-MORRIS | DELOREAN | STEVE MASON

| PHENOMENAL HANDCLAP BAND | WILD BIRDS AND PEACEDRUMS (UK EXCLUSIVE!)

GRECO-ROMAN SOUNDSYSTEM | DAVE HASLAM | THE PHANTOM BAND

TELEPATHE | THREE TRAPPED TIGERS | FOOL'S GOLD

SLEEPY SUN | AND SO I WATCH YOU FROM AFAR... | ESBEN AND THE WITCH

GOLD PANDA | CASIOKIDS | TOM RAVENSCROFT | JOE GIDEON AND THE SHARK

JAGZ KOONER | SUMMER CAMP | ANNA CALVI

ERLAND AND THE CARNIVAL | JESCA HOOP | EL GUINCHO | EGYPTIAN HIP HOP

THE RUBY SUNS | FACTORY FLOOR | CLOCK OPERA | GABBY YOUNG AND OTHER ANIMALS

BO NINGEN | PLANTS AND ANIMALS | SILVER COLUMNS | NORTH ATLANTIC OSCILLATION

RADIOPROOF | THE MEGAPHONIC THRIFT | LONE WOLF

LULU & THE LAMPSHADES | ANTHONY JOSEPH AND THE SPASM BAND

REVERE | DELIRIUM TREMENS | THE RUMOUR SAID FIRE | SWIMMING

SOUND OF RUM | HARRY'S GYM | DRY THE RIVER | WILD PALMS | PICA PICA

WHITE HEAT DJs | MIKE DIVER AND COLIN ROBERTS | THE FABULOUS PENETRATORS

GOD DON'T LIKE IT | TIM FANUCCI | FRAN AND JOSH | STOPMAKINGME | YEARNER BABIES | JAMES DELAY | THE VIOLET MAY | CANTMIXWONTMIXSHOULDNTMIXDONTMIX | MR FOGG | BRENDAN ROGERS| TRISTRAM | SPARROW AND THE WORKSHOP | IRON LUNG QUINTET | KATTWYK | CLEANING WOMEN | ROTTEN HILL GANG | HOOK & THE TWIN | HOOLIGAN NIGHT | MANO DE DIOS | THE AMIGOS | THE GOOD COUNT | MENTAL BLANK