When Indie Bands Attack...

It's been a long time since we were able to laugh at the skirmish between the White Stripes and the Von Bondies. To fill this niche, Wavves and Black Lips have decided to entertain us.

Like Israel versus Palestine, it's difficult to wade into the matter and ascertain exactly what the hell is going on, but Wavves and Jared Swilley from Black Lips were possibly involved in fisticuffs the other evening.

First up to explain themselves, Nathan Williams from Wavves:

“Talking shit about me on the Internet is one thing, I can handle that all day but when some dude is just looking for a fight at four in the morning talking shit to my face and his girlfriend is spitting in the face of all my friends it’s a whole different story. I have no problem with Black Lips or anybody else that i haven't met but Jared has been at me every chance he had. I just want to play music and have fun. It was unfortunate that it escalated to that point but he got what was coming to him.”

The problem is, that such an order of events doesn't seem to run parallel with what the other side is saying. This isn't a Han Solo vs. Greedo style argument, this is something else entirely. The order of events from the other side of the table you ask... here's what Jared Swilley had to say:

“First of all, I just wanna say that Wavves was NOT involved in that fight. That faggot didn’t even touch me.

"I’ve never “come after” that kid, it wasn’t four a.m., that wasn’t my girlfriend, no one was spitting, and I didn’t attack him. I don’t give a shit about that kid and his music.

"What happened was, after we finished our set I went to Daddy’s with some friends and saw that faggot from Wavves talking to a photographer friend of mine. The only thing I did was walk up to him and say “You’re that faggot from Wavves and I don’t like you”. He smiled a bit but didn’t say anything.

"After that, I went outside and saw their tour manager hanging around with some guys. They started getting all chuckles with me and so I told them I wasn’t gonna have it. After that, Wavves tour manager hit me square in the face with a bottle. Blood started pouring out and six dudes fucking started kicking me until I blacked out.

"All I remember is getting hit with the bottle and my friends dragging me to another bar. They wrapped my head up until I looked like a Confederate soldier.

"So yeah, I lost the fight.

"I also missed three flights. I’ve been in the airport all day having stewardesses cleaning my head because it kept cracking open. You can’t go on board if you’re bleeding.

"Bottom line is that faggot from Wavves didn’t even hit me. Never touched me. And he should’ve, cuz he had a free shot.

"He’s coming to Atlanta October 3rd and we’re gonna get ugly on him. We’re gonna destroy their van, we’re gonna destroy their faces, we’re gonna get crazy on em’. Nasty style."

I think if we've learnt anything tonight, it's that prejudice is wrong, women start all the fights and that dude is a faggot. Here's to October the third. Buy your tickets now.