Various Artists: Kerrang! The Album 2008

We'd presume there are two roads a man can go down when it comes to creating the age-old compilation album. Option one would be to make it resolutely for one person, tailoring each track to perfectly compliment the next and open up the world of a certain genre to the listener, introducing them to reams of new music. Think Pandora on a CD.

Option two would be to throw whatever was released during a year (and gained a modest amount of popularity) into the mixer, then see what happens.

I suppose it goes without saying which route Kerrang! went again. We doubt very much that the same people rocking out to HIM will be smiling while Nickelback perform their latest identikit single. Likewise the chance of Killswitch Engage sharing fans with Fall-Out Boy is equally remote.

Chances are most will use this as a cheap and legal way to bolster their iPod playlist with all the summer hits which they couldn't be bothered to download when they came out.

It's surprising to see though, that Kerrang! have all but vanquished their trademark taste in metal. Only Machine Head, Black Tide and Dillenger Escape Plan could be said to represent the heavy side of their remit. Elsewhere, it's mostly the latest fad to turn up to a gig with a taste in black and a fringe which would count as a disability for the partially sighted in most countries.

Kid Rock starts us off with his surprisingly successful portmanteau of Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Sweet Home Alabama" and Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London". In terms of the easy charm perfectly suited to lazy Sunday afternoons, it's hard to top. It's just an undending shame that your idyllic tranquillity must be interrupted by getting up to skip the Nickelback track which comes on next.

The compilation continues the same way, in the audio equivalent of a drive-by shooting. The outrageously apparent hooks of Biffy Clyro and Weezer are quickly stifled by Good Charlotte and the increasingly tiresome Pendulum. We could go on, but we don't want to end up offending everybody.

In terms of unearthing new talent, there are one or two interesting additions. Northern Ireland's Fighting With Wire are a metaphorical and occasionally literal cross between Biffy Clyro and Jetplane Landing. While not noticeably ground-breaking, they sure know how to handle the verse/chorus thing. Cancer Bats likewise bring the oddly absent intensity during the last innings of the game, double-teaming with Gallows to provide a seriously heavy send-off for the forty-two tracks. We'd be remiss if we didn't mention The Gaslight Anthem also, who startled most with their breathtakingly emotional sophomore album "The '59 Sound". Its title track is included her for your listening pleasure.

For those suffering from acute short-term memory loss or who happen to have accidental been sealed in a cryogenic unit, this compilation will no doubt provide an excellent dot-to-dot image of 2008 (and occasionally 2007) in rock. However, as a whole, it's very much a case of mirroring Aesop's tale of the miller and his son. If you try to please everybody, the donkey ends up drowning. As true today as it was then.