Weezer: (The Red Album)

If there were a Weezer plaque, it would likely be emblazoned with the motto "Operor non tractare puteus una. Tractare pessime in septem" which roughly translated reads as something along the lines of "Why excel in one area, when you can suck in seven."

For while the band proved with "The Blue Album" that they could handle themselves admirably when it came to fiercely melodic geek-rock, the same cannot be said for their attempts at so-called diversity. Of all of the band's forays, their recent predilection to hip-hop style delivery draws the most dismay. It's gotten so bad that a comparison to Fall-Out Boy's lust for cross-market dominance might not be too far amiss. We are however, not that cruel.

With the odiously rapped songs pushed aside early on, Weezer switch to a mode that can only be defined as 'Red Hot Chilli Peppers-lite' with "Heart Songs" capturing their more introspective moments and "Everybody Get Dangerous" mimicking Anthony Kiedis at his most furious.

Come the second half of the album, frontman Rivers Cuomo gives up singing and hands the mic off to the rest of the band. With "Thought I Knew", "Cold Dark World" and "Automatic" being fronted by the guitarist, bassist and drummer for the band respectively, things only get worse. Losing the vocal rope which Cuomo narrowly provides, the band almost enter an era of 'Weezer presents.... passable rock hits' ignominy. This decision could be regarded either as an artistic snafu, or worse, a desperate attempt to appease a band who are uncomfortable with their place behind Cuomo.

All of this, however,  is just the haemorrhoid-flavoured icing on the not-quite-chocolate cake. For next we consider the lyrics which sully further the previously good name of Weezer. While the band priorly dealt with issues such as family tragedy, alcoholism, heartbreak, and jealousy; much of "The Red Album" is spent on fourth-wall breaking attempts at humour, wishing they were cool again, giving shout-outs to all their fellow celebrities and painful self-referential prose; and never in a way which could be considered anything above primary school level writing.

One suspects the pressure of expectation has become to much to bear. On the brighter side of the coin though, some of the tracks pass by with an unremarkable presence. Even better, some actually show gleams of promise. The lure of the "Pork and Beans" chorus is undeniable as are the charms of the epically-proportioned finale "The Angel and the One".

Still, we'd heartily suggest dropping the needle on "The Blue Album" and sadly fantasising "It's such a shame that they split up after their debut, they had such potential." Who knows, maybe in some lucky alternate-dimension, this may have been the happy truth.